Do you feel like something is missing in your life?
Perhaps from a logical point of view you realize that you’re supposed to be happy with what you have…
But still, your heart yearns for more…
But more of what?
- More money?
- A more fulfilling job?
- A more rewarding business?
- Deeper and more satisfying relationships?
- Better health?
When we feel a void of some kind in our lives, we’re often quick to focus our aspirations on all kinds of external means and measures that we think might fill that void.
But then we’re always told that in order to manifest such desires, we first need to “have an abundance mentality,” “be happy right now,” and “be grateful for what we already have.”
While this council is obviously well-intended and does indeed have merit, for many of us it feels like a bit of a catch-22:
- How can we be happy when we’re not really happy?
- And what are we supposed to do if the things we think will make us happy will only come to us if we are happy first?
Good news – there’s a solution to this conundrum:
What we need is a boost. And we’ll get it from taking our ‘manifesting vitamins.’
In this article, we’ll explore what these ‘vitamins’ are, and how to take them in.
So let’s get started!
What’s Missing In Your Life?
Have you ever heard this story?
“Not very long,” answered the Mexican.
“But then why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?” asked the American.
The Mexican responded: “Those fish are enough for feeding my family, I didn’t need to catch any more.”
The American asked: “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”
“Well,” said the Mexican, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children and take a siesta, and enjoy spending as much time with my wife as possible. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs... I have a busy life.”
The American interrupted:
“I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You need to become more productive while fishing. Spend more time on the ocean and catch some extra fish. You can then sell the extra fish you catch.
“With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat. Then you can increase the amount of fish you catch and keep improving the performance of the boat, which should increase your catch per day even further.
With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and then a third one and so on, until you have an entire fleet of trawlers.
Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can negotiate directly with the processing plants and large distributors and maybe even open up your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City or Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge enterprise.”
“How long would that take?” asked the Mexican.
“Could take fifteen or twenty years,” replied the American.
“And after that?”
“Afterwards? That’s when it gets really interesting,” answered the American laughing. “When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!”
“Millions? Really?! And then after that?”
“Well... then you can retire...
“You'll be able to live in a tiny fishing village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta, and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying the company of your wife and friends.”While most people will identify themselves with the fisherman in the in the story above, many of us still live our lives based on the businessman’s philosophy.
When you give it some thought, you’ll probably notice that you have a few desires of your own on your wish list:
- Perhaps you want a bigger house in a quieter area outside the city…
- Maybe you’d like a new job that’s more appropriate to your ambitions and yields greater financial benefit…
- Perhaps you’d even like to run a successful business of your own…
- Or maybe you’d enjoy driving a fancy car that gets people to turn their heads…
In short, if you’re anything like most people, you always seek to shape and mold your life in the best ways you can imagine.
But here’s the thing:
- Many of us remain fidgety or even downright unhappy as long as we don’t have the thing we (think we) want – and this makes our pursuits high-strung from the outset, because the driving motivation is to fill a void.
And as we know, this very lack of happiness places constraints on our ability to manifest our desires (<– let alone do so with grace, ease and flow), because it puts us in ‘reactive mode.’
- Besides, it’s often unclear if our compulsory aspirations and contrived pursuits will indeed give us the kind of fulfillment we really seek once we actually do happen to manifest them.
In fact, all too often it turns out that the thing we desired for so long ultimately doesn’t give us the lasting sense of satisfaction and happiness we hoped for and intended (<– depending on what we really value), and we end up thinking: “Now what?”
- For many of us, that long-desired promotion with greater financial benefit didn’t get us to suddenly jump out of bed with excitement every morning and whistle in delight all our way to work.
In fact, our new job (or business) might be so hectic that we feel like we’re completely overtaken by events and always lag behind. - For others, that bigger house with the extra rooms in that quiet area outside the city is still nice and beautiful…
But the longer time to travel to and from work leaves a lot less time to play with our kids. And besides, we can no longer catch a quick movie or theatre show at last moment’s notice whenever we feel like it. Not to mention all the maintenance the house appears to require… - For still others among us, winning the lottery was great, but the initial excitement wore off quickly. And besides, the long-term effects are mixed, and definitely not always as great as we had grown accustomed to expect.
Especially big wins seem to come with a lot more reason to worry about all the money. Besides, everybody suddenly wants to be our “friend” and always come begging for cash. Sometimes we even feel worse off than before winning. [1]
So let me ask you:
- Wouldn’t it be nice if we actually invested our energies in the things that we’re absolutely sure of they really do give us the kind of happiness and satisfaction we long for…
- … and simultaneously enhance our ability to manifest whatever further (external) desires we have with grace and ease, without needing to be so high-strung and tense about it because we feel like our entire sense of contentment in life depends on it?
That’s exactly what we need our ‘manifesting vitamins’ for:
- Like regular vitamins are essential to the well-being and functioning of our physical body, manifesting vitamins are essential to our psychological health and well-being.
- They support our ability to feel full, happy and inspired on a consistent basis… even before we may have actualized the dreams and visions we hold.
- And as such, they not only support our ability to manifest any further desires we have with grace and ease, but also help us get crystal clear on what we really want out of life.
This is why they’re so essential to our success and fulfillment, regardless of where we are in our life and in relation to the grand dreams and visions we have for it.
So let’s explore what they are…
The 3 Essential Manifesting Vitamins
According to the modern psychological theory of self-determination, each and every one of us has three innate psychological needs: [2]
- Autonomy: (<-- “I decide.”)
This is our need to feel like we’re determining our own course, in control of our own behaviors and goals, and the causal agents of our own life experience. - Competence: (<-- “I can do this.”)
This need refers to our desire to achieve mastery at tasks – i.e. to do something we’re good at and that notably matters by having an actual effect in relation to the outcomes we seek. - Relatedness: (<-- “I matter.”)
This is our requirement for a sense of belonging – i.e feeling connected to other people, wanting to interact with them and experiencing caring for and from them.
All three of these needs are considered universal necessities that are fundamental to our sense of well-being… regardless of our race, color or creed, and no matter how ‘successful’ we think we are and appear to other people.
That’s why we refer to them as vitamins.
Like plants need water and sunlight to grow, we all need these three, equally important essential nutrients for our psychological health, development and well-being:
- When satisfied, they allow for optimal functioning and growth:
Conditions supporting our experience of these three aspects foster the most volitional and high-quality forms of motivation and engagement for our pursuits and activities, including enhanced performance, persistence, and creativity. - When not sufficiently catered to, they limit our performance and well-being:
The degree to which any of these three needs is not supported or thwarted in our lives will have a detrimental effect on our psychological health and functioning, and by extension on our ability to maintain the state that’s key to manifesting our desires (<– i.e. ‘Creative Mode’).
For example, let’s explore a few illustrations from contemporary science:
- Whether we have a good or a bad day appears to depend on the extent to which our three fundamental needs are satisfied.
One study among students showed that the days on which they felt most vital were those on which they…: [3]
(a) Could spend their time on things they chose to do themselves (<-- i.e. greater sense of autonomy)…
(b) Could do things they were good at (<-- i.e. a greater sense of competence)… and:
(c) Were able to spend quality time and have meaningful conversations with other people (<-- i.e. a greater sense of relatedness).
- For similar reasons most of us feel better on weekend days than on week days.
This is likely because we…: [4]
(a) Typically determine our own schedule, instead of it being dictated by our boss or our work in general (<-- i.e. a greater sense of autonomy)…
(b) Don’t necessarily have to do overly straining work or complex tasks that challenge our sense of aptitude (<-- i.e. a greater sense of competence)
(c) Spend more time with friends, family and/or whoever we feel good with, beyond mere co-workers (<-- i.e. a greater sense of relatedness).
(By the same token, workplaces that support the three needs will greatly foster people’s well-being and performance on the job.)
2) These three needs determine the difference between fulfilling and unfulfilling ‘success:’
Even when we seem to have everything we could ever want from a logical point of view (<-- for example, a good job or a profitable business, a great relationship, sweet kids, etc.), we may still feel like something is missing in our lives.
One study compared public service lawyers with lawyers in the most prestigious positions: [5]
- Even though the latter group made a lot more money, they experienced a diminished sense of well-being compared to the first group, and regularly drank too much alcohol.
- This significantly correlated with the fact that the public service lawyers experienced a healthier sense of autonomy, and a feeling that their work made a difference (<-- i.e. competence) by being rooted in values and serving a purpose greater than themselves (<-- i.e. relatedness).
- … runs them rather than the other way around (<-- i.e. a diminished sense of autonomy)…
- … makes them feel overtaken by events and the complexity of managing it all, always lagging behind and feeling out of control (<-- i.e. a diminished sense of competence)…
- … got them to spend too much time away from family and friends (<-- i.e. a diminished sense of relatedness).
- Had the experience that they actually influenced what happened between the sheets (<-- i.e. autonomy)…
- Were convinced of their skills as lovers (<-- i.e. competence)…
- Felt strongly connected with their partners (<-- i.e. relatedness).
In short:
Both for our success in making real the dreams and visions we hold for our lives, as well as for our overall sense of well-being, satisfaction, happiness, and fulfillment, we need to ensure we get our ‘manifesting vitamins!’
So let’s do a little check-up…
Are You Short On Any Vitamins?
Apparently, if we feel like something is missing in our life, we’re really experiencing a momentary deficiency in one or more of the three essential vitamins.
And this can have an enormous impact on our entire disposition:
- It can determine the kinds of goals and aspirations we’ll seek to pursue.
- It can even (adversely) influence our general outlook on life, along with our sense of feeling secure, abundant and in control.
This typically makes our desires and aspirations a direct reflection of our vitamin levels:
- If we’re generally full on them, our pursuit is typically uncontrived and rooted in a state of abundance, and a ‘playful’ intention to expand our excitement and fulfillment in life.
- If we’re deficient in any of them for longer periods of time, we’ll no longer seek to “expand what we already have inside,” but typically look for ways to compensate for the ongoing shortage.
Now here’s the thing:
Many of us start our manifesting journey from a chronic manifesting vitamin deficiency. And as such, we risk setting ourselves up for failure from the outset. After all:
- As our deprivation may have caused us to lose touch with ourselves, our genuinely inspired and internally motivated urges, and our capacity for self-determination, we never really get actively involved, much less fully committed to the process of creating a new and better reality for ourselves.
- Instead, we effectively wait for some external change to happen first to give us the mere sense that we can, let alone the inspiration and fire that make the fact that we will create a fulfilling and rewarding new reality for ourselves inevitable.
By putting off our own involvement in the process that way and waiting for something or someone else to make the changes we seek for us, we’re basically putting the cart before the horse:
And as long as we’re short on our vitamins, we’ll always feel like this is our only choice.
That’s why it’s worth asking ourselves to what extent the desires and aspirations we currently seek to manifest are driven by a vitamin deficiency. Because if they are, we’ll greatly increase our chances of success if we resolve it directly and independent of the outcome we’re after.
The exact nature of our desires is not so much at issue here. (<– Whether it’s more money, a fancy car, your own business, a bigger house, a soul mate, etc., there’s nothing essentially wrong with wanting any particular one of these.)
The key is to drill down to the core of what’s motivating them:
- Is your desire an uncontrived pursuit out of a ‘playful’ intention to make your life better by (further) expanding and carrying out what’s already lurking inside you, and to bring a new reality into being?
In this case you’re intrinsically motivated: your aspirations and visions are primarily driven from inside rather than by means of external rewards.
As such, they’re more likely to come to pass, because you’ll be better able to congruently align your energies in their direction, without hidden agendas or being easily thrown off course by the inevitable obstacles you’ll encounter along the way. - Or is your desire rather a high-strung chase designed to fill some kind of perceived void, and alleviate the discomfort your current reality is causing you?
In this case, you’re merely extrinsically motivated: you don’t value your aspirations and visions for their own sake and in their own right, but merely see them as instrumental to gaining the sense of autonomy, competence and/or relatedness that you feel you’re missing deep inside.
This means you’ll likely remain unhappy as long as they’re not fulfilled. And if they ever do come to pass, it’s doubtful whether they actually fulfill the deeper need you’re seeking to satisfy. But what’s more:
They’re less likely to come to pass to start with, because it’ll be a lot harder to fully commit to them, as they’re really about something else. Consequently, you’ll be more easily thrown off course by the inevitable obstacles you’ll encounter along the way, or whenever the next shiny opportunity hijacks your attention.
So let’s take a moment to assess your disposition:
Now here’s an important thing to realize:
If your desires do indeed turn out to be rooted in a vitamin deficiency, that doesn’t immediately imply your focus is all wrong and that you have to immediately give up on it!
It just means that your pursuit is likely to get contrived and counterproductive by subtly reinforcing a scarcity mentality.
As mentioned before, in that case we’d be much better off catering to our vitamin deficiency directly, and making sure we’re essentially full on them regardless of whether our desires have come to pass yet.
Because only then will we be able to think and act out of an uncontrived abundance mentality. And the resulting high performance, creativity and inspiration (<– i.e. ‘Creative Mode’) will greatly increase the chances of our dreams becoming reality.
So let’s explore how to do that…
What To Do Next: Attend To A Vitamin Deficiency Directly
Once you’ve figured out what vitamin(s) you’re short on (if any), the best way to attend to them directly is by actively asserting them.
This may of course seem counterintuitive, and might in fact feel like the very last thing you’ll want to do (<-- precisely because we feel short on them and like we lack the inspiration to take these exact kinds of actions and measures)…
But such a proactive approach (<-- which also originates within rather than without) is by far the most effective way of fulfilling them directly!
Here are some examples of how you can do so:
These are all relatively straightforward things we can do ourselves, without having to passively wait for anything or anyone to come to our aid or to deliver us from our perceived predicament. They quickly, immediately and directly satisfy our three fundamental needs.
By doing so, we deliberately shift ourselves back into a healthy, natural state of psychological well-being, abundance and inner balance.
Because let’s face it:
- We all feel better when we feel connected with other people (<-- i.e. relatedness).
- We all feel better when we do something we’re good at and successfully complete a task (<-- i.e. competence).
- We all feel better when we do something out of our own volition (<-- i.e. autonomy).
So from there, any further desires we may have will automatically become less contrived and more ‘playful,’ and no longer originate in a sense of missing something essential.
Instead, we’ll naturally put our energy into what’s really important to us in our heart of hearts, and we’ll find ourselves more productive, creative, inspired and better company to others.
And both our manifesting results and our life in general will shift accordingly.
Conclusion
The more manifesting vitamins we take in, the greater our sense of psychological well-being, and by extension the more easily and gracefully the process of our personal growth and manifesting our desires will unfold.
Of course, just like regular vitamins don’t magically make our body healthy, getting our manifesting vitamins doesn’t magically manifest all our desires all of a sudden.
However, just like regular vitamins support our physical body’s basic requirements for good health, well-being and performance, manifesting vitamins put us in a fundamentally abundant, centered, self-determined and balanced frame of mind, which in turn fosters our productivity, creativity and inspiration.
They help us “be happy and grateful now” and give us a sense of belonging in life where we essentially feel we have all we need to be able to deliberately make something beautiful out of our lives, without having to passively wait for a miracle to deliver us.
Now of course…:
- Bona fide ‘miracles’ are absolutely possible, and the process of bringing our visions to reality can carry an almost ‘mystical’ dimension, where ‘strange coincidences’ and amazing synchronicities begin to occur on a regular basis that are hard to explain logically.
- However, it’s highly unlikely that such events will ever take place if we continuously deny and disown our own vital and indispensible, active role in the process of bringing our visions to reality.
In that regard, here’s the key thing to realize:
- Although it harbors “unlimited abundance” in the form of truly open-ended potential, the ‘universe’ is no Santa Clause or Tooth Fairy that just provides for any fleeting desire we express.
- Instead, life will grow, enlarge and expand the energy that we ourselves bring to it.
- But we’ll only feel up to bringing the right type of energy if our manifesting vitamin-levels are healthy.
Bottom-line:
Get your ‘manifesting vitamins!’
You now know how to do so, and your mind and soul will thank you for it.
And the fuller you are on them, the more you’ll notice your life getting better and better (and better).
P.S. Please share your thoughts by placing a comment below – I’d love to hear from you!
References:
[1] Landau, E. (2011), “Winning The Lottery: Does It Guarantee Happiness?,” CNN Website (Retrieved April 2015) – link;
[2] Deci, E.L. and R.M. Ryan (Eds.) (2002), Handbook of Self-Determination Research, University of Rochester Press, Rochester, NY;
[3] Sheldon, K., Ryan, R.M. and H.T. Reis (1996), “What Makes For A Good Day? Competence and Autonomy in the Day and in the Person,” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 22, pp. 1270-1279;
[4] Ryan, R.M., Bernstein, J.H. and K.W. Brown (2010), “Weekends, Work and Well-Being: Psychological Need Satisfactions and Day of the Week Effects On Mood, Vitality, and Physical Symptoms,” Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology 29(1), pp. 95-122;
[5] Krieger, L.S. and K.M. Sheldon (2014), “What Makes Lawyers Happy? Transcending the Anecdotes with Data from 6200 Lawyers,” FSU College of Law, Public Law Research Paper No. 667;
[6] Smith, C.V. (2007), “In Pursuit of Good Sex: Self-Determination and The Sexual Experience,” Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 24(1), pp. 69-85;
[7] Soenens, B., Vansteenkiste, M., Lens, W., Luyckx, K., Beyers, W., Goossens, L., and Ryan, R.M. (2007), “Conceptualizing Parental Autonomy Support: Adolescent Perceptions of Promoting Independence Versus Promoting Volitional Funcioning,” Developmental Psychology 43, pp. 633–646.
Your statements are always informative, realistic and constructive in nature.
My favorite part was “Well, That Didn’t Work — An Autobiography.” I had a nice long belly laugh (very healing) and instantly wanted to share it on Facebook. 😀
Thank you Henk. It’s great you wrote this and shared it. with all of us -I’will be taking my manifesting vitamins more often. : All the best!
What a refreshing approach Henk! By focusing my efforts properly I’m sure I’ll have more energy and the opportunity to reach my goals. Thank you so much!
Anne
Thank you. I’m so grateful you wrote this and shared it. And I’m so grateful I read it.
WOW! What a wonderful message of Life’s Fulfillment, that has been illustrated so comprehensively & convincingly. Your message is crystal clear because it’s straight from the heart of spiritually alive person. Thank you!
Very instructive! Your article cuts through all the LOA misdirection and gives valuable truths to be learned and implemented. You’ve made the complex simple. And to use another parable, you have taught us how to fish. Thank You, Henk, for sending this article.
Now I know I’ve been deficient on all the vitamin for many years.
Aha!— so this is an indispensable and crucial piece of the manifesting puzzle you’ve handed us, here. You cannot imagine how much time and grief you are saving. We all pretty much have younger family as well who could greatly benefit. These ideas are crystal-clear and uncomplicated—I appreciate the way the logic develops into a sensible, doable series of actions complete with checks and balances. Now that is genius.
The honest intention behind this piece is unmistakable. It is diametrically opposed to the bullshitting LOA fake “gurus” out there with their regurgitated hog-swill. This work is coming from a unique, original perspective; it’s organic and authentic.
Thanks, Henk—it’s a breath of fresh air. If this piece was part of a book, I’d buy it in a heartbeat! 🙂
Dear Henk
AMAZING the way you get to the tap root, the very life source on any subject you present
This is so comprehensive that it will take a few readings to fully grasp. I love your offerings
I believe this is something I will use all the time. I don’t think we ever arrive and this will if followed seriously, will equip and propel one to the miracle realm we rarely experience.
Needless to say when I see your name in my emails I am pleased and stop what I am doing to partake because I know it will be a valuable Game Changer. I am all about the new levels of energy you bring to the table.
“Up! Up! and Away!
Thank you!
Hi. Enjoyed the article very much. I really like your take on things. Thank you.
Wonderful recipe not only for happiness but blissfulness too.
Dear Henk now I remember why I subscribed to your emails in the first place…thank you SO much…you can’t imagine how timely this great article is in my life…Namaste Naomi…
Henk,
Years ago I ran into some of your work. I really respected your logic Since that time I’ve made a point to read the e-mails you send. This article is a shining example of why. Enjoyed the points, well thought out and nicely presented.
Namaste
this makes so much sense…like all your articles…its not something wishy washy…i can relate to it on an intellectual level and soul level…i want to read it a few more times to really digest it as there is alot to consider but I am going to really try to get this on a core level…for me a money miracle would help alot coz i am at the point where i can appreciate life on a simple level but the ongoing debt i have accrued chews up most of my pay and i have to fight the depressive thoughts about being trapped in this cycle…looking forward to more genius from u!!!
Henk: I do thank you for your insight on these “vitamins”. I had never thought about them; definitely not the way you presented them.
Hi Henk! This article is true. While I was reading this, I had a saying that came into my head. The saying goes as far as I remember as this: Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. I think this is also true in any business. And if you have a mentor who has the same dreams or visions as you do, you can accomplish many things. I will leave this for now. Thanks anyways! Matthew Scott
Great article. I would love to hear more about how some of the vitamins may be in competition with each other – for example, autonomy and relatedness. What’s the best way to achieve balance here.
Good vitamins. I have to say I have lacking relationship vitamins all my life cause I think i live more on my own bubble and this physical life make me annoyed for all the troubles and conflicts it brings by living in this corporate industrial world where competition and greed is all I see from day to day. i need these vitamins badly.
I really appreciate this article sir. it comes to me at the point of need. I will try these vitamins.
Many thanks for this inspiring thoughts. Digging deep to the core of our motivations is not that easy but awareness of the advantages of such a procedure is what you have just so masterly explained. I am blessed by knowing a meticulous mind like you. Thank you
We can say that ACR are the things that drive a healthy happy life which in and of themselves lead to fulfillment and a contented existence. Life becomes a natural flow of ‘manifesting’ when there’s an abundance of vitamin A, C and R. Added to these of course, like a healthy diet, must be a consciousness of the Divine Cosmic Presence, the God that rules over all.
I liked the fisherman story also. In my earlier days I definitely thought like the Harvard man. But at a retired age I definitely see the disadvantages to that kind of aggressive need. There’s nothing wrong with accomplishing your dreams, but there is something not so good about not knowing when to stop and “smell the roses”. A catchy way to explain by referencing to vitamins. We all know about vitamins. Thank you for your insight. It certainly helped me a lot.
Thank-you. I’ve felt stuck of late and you’ve simplified it for me. I totally needed this.
Inspiring article. I will be taking my manifesting vitamins every day! They will ensure I will be more centred and live a fulfilling, happy life.
Well I have to say this was just what I needed at this point in my world. I have gone thought much and was going and going and all of a sudden I no longer felt empowered. I have know you for many years and in the time I lost everything had an awaking and got back on my feet. I was using the stepping stone method and suddenly the stones came to a halt. I then decided to make more changes in my life. Stopped smoking after more that 20 years cold turkey and have no desire to ever take it back up. Got involved with someone that i knew was not god for me and one day I just turned by back and never looked back. I have a good understanding to the works of the universe and loosing all enhanced it even more. Now I seem stuck and for a moment wanted to just give up.
I am quite connected with this magnificence’s and I think what happened was I stopped caring for me and life. I say thank you and will be getting back on track. Any time you make the derision to look inside everything changes so thank you I will be checking my vitamins. It is good to be connected with you again. Be blessed
sure make sense just to check on the 3 point autonomy, competence and being connected raise my vitamins
i am so inspired!
Let’s use the acronym ARC 🙂
Uh… let’s not. We don’t want him getting sued by a certain litigious cult. LOL!
WOW ! Great in-depth look into autonomy, competence, and being connected. These are the foundation for fulfillment. When we feel useful, wanted, and capable of achieving more then it is natural that our vitamin sufficiency rises. Thanks for good examples to relate to. I like the fisherman story. Smiled at the cartoons.
You definitely have a book here! Much needed by those of a certain age and stage. This age and stage of life has passed for me and I’m back with the fisherman, but go for it. Wonderful advice for those still “pursuing” even if it’s pursuing better quality of life.