When you decide to reclaim internal locus of control in life and engage on the path of ‘consciously creating your own reality,’ it’s pretty much inevitable that at some point you’ll have to deal with a phenomenon known as ‘cognitive dissonance.’
While we usually hear more about its detrimental and self-sabotaging effects, cognitive dissonance is really a neutral phenomenon that carries a huge amount of potential power, which can have an effect on you in either of roughly two directions:
- You can unconsciously let it disempower you and possibly spiral down into harmful denial of self-responsibility…
- Or you can consciously channel its energy in your benefit.
As such, it’s very useful to understand as a concept, in order to gain control over it and leverage it to your advantage.
So let’s dig in…
Cognitive Dissonance
The term ‘cognitive dissonance’ may sound very highbrow and spawned from the realm of intellectual jargon, but what it comes down to is really very simple:
It basically means that you’re in two ‘minds’ at the same time, where one ‘mind’ is contradicting the other.
Here are some official definitions of cognitive dissonance pulled from various sources:
- “Cognitive dissonance is the mental conflict that people experience when they are presented with evidence that their beliefs or assumptions are wrong.”
- “When two simultaneously held cognitions are inconsistent, this will produce a state of cognitive dissonance. Because the experience of dissonance is unpleasant, the person will strive to reduce it by changing their beliefs.”
- “An emotional state set up when two simultaneously held attitudes or cognitions are inconsistent, or when there is a conflict between belief and overt behavior. The resolution of the conflict is assumed to serve as a basis for attitude change, in that belief patterns are generally modified as to be consistent with behavior.”
So based on these definitions, let me translate and summarize the nature of the concept in simple terms:
- Cognitive dissonance manifests as a state of mental and emotional unease or disharmony, which we experience as an uncomfortable feeling of tension.
- It’s brought up when an attitude or conviction is contradicted by experience, information, and/or behavior.
- Our minds then insist that we eliminate the dissonance, by somehow resolving the contradiction that’s causing it.
So how do we tend to resolve such a contradiction?
Well, it turns out that for most people, their first inclination is to do so by means of self-deception, in that they justify their existing attitude and/or behavior so they avoid feeling ‘wrong’ or ‘at fault.’
In the words of Harvard economist John Kenneth Galbraith:
“Faced with the choice between changing one’s mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof.”
Put differently:
- Most people either dismiss any information and experience that point out the fallacy of their current beliefs and/or the futility of their current attitude and behavior as untrue without further investigation…
- And/or they justify their self-sabotaging or ineffective behavior and beliefs by concocting some rationalization for it.
So as you’ll understand, seeing through this mechanism and taking conscious control over it as much as possible is extremely relevant to our ability to gain a sensible degree of internal locus of control in life without sabotaging ourselves.
So to make sure you get a clear idea of the concept, let’s go through a few examples and illustrations…
Examples & Illustrations
Example 1 – A ‘Dilbert’-comic explaining the general idea:
So are you beginning to get an idea of the mental effect cognitive dissonance can have?
Either way, it’ll become clearer as we progress, so let’s move on to the next example…
Example 2 – Aliens:
The late Leon Festinger was a prominent social psychologist who was responsible for the development of the theory of cognitive dissonance.
In 1954 he and two colleagues infiltrated a cult group that followed Marion Keech, a woman from Chicago who claimed to have been contacted by ‘aliens’ that told her that a great flood would bring an end to the world before dawn on December 21st, 1954.
Her followers left their jobs, educational pursuits, and families… even gave away their money and possessions… as they believed they would be taken away in a spacecraft at midnight on December 20th, a few hours before the disaster was due to strike.
Festinger and his colleagues joined the group, because they believed the situation would provide a perfect example of cognitive dissonance when the flood and the spaceship failed to manifest.
And indeed, dawn broke as normal on December 21st.
Obviously, the fact that the aliens and the flood failed to materialize brought about unpleasant, stressful mental conditions (i.e. cognitive dissonance) in group members. After all, their belief in both the aliens and the flood clashed emotionally with the fact that neither appeared.
So in the face of these unanticipated developments, they were basically left with two alternatives:
- They either had to accept the fact that they had been duped, which would resolve their mental tension by bringing the conflicting belief and experience together as a whole.
- Or they had to find a means to explain what happened in a way that would preserve their original belief and support the validity of their behavior.
Here’s what happened:
- Some members acknowledged they had been fooled and left the group to get back to building and living their lives…
- But strikingly, the majority stayed, and even became more enthusiastic and passionate in their cause… despite the fact that the prophecy that led them into the whole ordeal in the first place didn’t even happen.
I stress again that the latter group included the majority. Here’s how they solved their dissonance:
They rearranged their relationship to their belief and behavior by saying that the flood didn’t occur because their small group had spread so much light during the night, that God had saved the world from destruction.
You might recognize this type of response from the adherers of the various ‘end-of-the-world-prophecies’ that we keep hearing about… or as being similar to the logic of Ernie (Bert’s friend of Sesame Street fame):
Example 3 – Ernie’s Logic:
Take a look at this video: (<– The first part sets the context, but the second part, starting at about 45 seconds into the video, is the part most relevant to our discussion here…)
Now let me recap what’s going on here in the context of this article:
- Ernie explains the reason of his unusual behavior of keeping a banana in his ear to Bert as having the aim of “chasing away the alligators.”
- Bert then decides to make Ernie aware of the futility of his actions, by pointing out the reality that there are no alligators in Sesame Street.
- The conflict between Ernie’s behavior and the new information conveyed by Bert would then create cognitive dissonance in the mind of Ernie (<– although we’re no direct witnesses to that process). After all, if there are no alligators, then there’s no use in chasing them way, especially not through the dubious means of sticking a banana in the ear.
- However, when presented with this information, Ernie doesn’t change his behavior by taking the banana out of his ear, as Bert expected (and probably hoped for)… Instead, he responds differently:
He justifies his existing behavior and belief, stating that the act of holding a banana in his ear is doing a particularly good job at chasing away the alligators, thus providing us with another entertaining illustration of what cognitive dissonance tends to do to us.
Now let’s explore another example to increase your understanding some more…
Example 4 – Alternative Healing:
If there’s one field with plenty of experience in dealing with cognitive dissonance, it’s the orthodox branch of mainstream medical science.
Often riddled by what it can’t explain on the basis of its established way of thinking, it regularly puts on display its profound inability and/or common disinterest in processing new and unwanted information.
For example, if a patient happens to recover using some alternative therapy, the medical establishment often responds accordingly by simply explaining it away:
- Either the patient must have been wrongly diagnosed in the first place…
- Or the patient must be responding to some prior orthodox medical treatment (even if it was given years ago or if the patient is undergoing spontaneous remission).
Basically, the medical establishment accepts anything but the fact that an alternative cure or treatment can have actual results, because it has already decided in advance that it’s a ‘quack’ that doesn’t fit its limited concept of what’s possible, and therefore it can’t possibly be effective.
Now let’s explore our final example, which will get us to the point that I want to make in this article…
Example 5 – Smoking:
Another common example relates to the habit of smoking.
Now just to be clear:
- I’m not describing this to pass judgment on anyone who does or doesn’t smoke.
- Instead, the scenario described below is merely a clear illustration of the two different directions in which cognitive dissonance can steer your attitude and behavior.
- So while the scenario here pertains to the habit of smoking in particular, the underlying principle it conveys, applies to many other contexts.
With that said, check out the scheme below and how it illustrates two possible responses to the unpleasant tension of cognitive dissonance:
So let’s say you’re a regular smoker and you’re presented with new information that says it’s unhealthy. As the scheme depicts, this gives you two general choices to respond:
- One: you can decide to quit smoking. In this case, cognitive dissonance serves as the driving force to change your behavior in the light of new knowledge, namely that smoking is unhealthy and it’s better to break the habit and quit.
- Alternatively, you can find an escape route and give yourself a justification to maintain your current behavior (i.e. smoking), based on the perception that the evidence that it’s not healthy is not conclusive. In this case, cognitive dissonance cements your current attitude and behavior in more firmly.
And this brings us to the most important thing to take from these examples…
The Driving Force of Cognitive Dissonance
The examples discussed above illustrate how cognitive dissonance is not a ‘bad’ thing in itself. While its feeling of tension may not be particularly pleasant, the phenomenon itself is neutral.
It’s how you respond to it that matters. Because your response will determine whether it will have ‘empowering’ or ‘disempowering’ effects on you.
As such, cognitive dissonance indicates a pre-eminent opportunity for introspection and being honest with yourself, and to consciously decide what type of response will serve you best. And that’s where your power lies.
In this context, cognitive dissonance can roughly steer you in two directions:
- A destructive direction, implying external locus of control, which usually cycles into disempowerment…
- A constructive action, implying internal locus of control, which usually leads to consistently increasing empowerment.
Let’s explore both directions more thoroughly, so that we can make sure that we keep ourselves from cycling into disempowerment, and instead put ourselves into a consistent flow of ever-increasing empowerment.
A Destructive Spiral Cycling Into Disempowerment
In this case, we place responsibility anywhere but within ourselves. It’s probably safe to say that all of us have fallen for this destructive effect at some point in our lives, including yours truly. Let’s face it: we’ve all played the ‘blame game.’
And sadly, this is how most people deal with the unpleasant experience of cognitive dissonance. As a kneejerk reaction, they attempt to retain their original self-identity, by justifying their current attitude and behavior. Anything goes, as long as they’re not ‘at fault.’
But how much does such a reaction actually serve us? Think about it:
If you’re like most people reading this, you’re looking for ways to make changes in life circumstances that you’re not (entirely) satisfied with.
But in that context, accepting and admitting that we were somehow involved in shaping those circumstances (<– thus acknowledging that we might have been wrong or at fault, and succumbing to the potential loss of ‘status’ or perception of ‘being perfect’ that might come with doing so) can be an unpleasant prospect in itself.
So instead of stepping into our power by taking responsibility, we’ll be more inclined to concoct whatever justification for our current attitude and behavior we can come up with to avoid feeling ‘wrong’.
And thus, whenever something ‘bad’ or ‘unpleasant’ happens (or whenever we do something ‘bad’ or ‘unpleasant’) we quickly tend to make up excuses, such as:
- “It was you who made me react like that!”
- “It’s not my fault!”
- “They deserved it!”
We may get very creative in coming up with such excuses, but there’s usually a common denominator to detect among them:
- Whatever we come up with hardly ever has anything to do with us, but is usually all about some other reason that turns out to be the fault of someone or something else…
- Or it’s just ‘the way it is’ or ‘the way we are,’ and we’re powerless to make a change.
Now here’s what so destructive about that:
- First, by freezing reality into a static state, we implicitly exclude the very possibility that any change is possible in the first place… while both reality and we ourselves are really in constant flux and dynamically changing all the time.
- And secondly, even if we wouldn’t do that, by passing the buck on responsibility we still implicitly ignore our own power to change the situation, because we’re placing that power anywhere but within ourselves.
After all, if we had no role whatsoever in creating it, or if ‘the way we are’ is set in stone, then we can’t possibly do anything to improve the situation, can we?
That’s the victim mentality in a nutshell. In other words: we’re implying external locus of control, i.e. being at the mercy of the whims of circumstance and/or the hands of destiny.
But that’s not all… There are in fact more far-reaching ramifications of this attitude:
By pushing off responsibility, we also block the process of mental and emotional healing of the very underlying causes for why we’re inclined to respond in the way described above in the first place (<– as was explained in this article).
Without such healing, it’s likely that we keep recreating self-fulfilling prophecies, where we keep running into situations that evoke similar discomfort as the one we keep refusing to take responsibility for.
Meanwhile, as we constantly point away from ourselves for the cause of this discomfort every time it arises, we keep (implicitly) reaffirming our own victimhood.
And so the best we can hope for in that case is a so-called ‘deus ex machina,’ i.e. some external rescue that’s unlikely to ever come, and we implicitly consider ourselves powerless to do anything about it.
And for most people, that’s exactly what they’re trying to ‘manifest:’
They set their sights at some kind of ‘rescue’ that would alleviate an uncomfortable tension they consistently or even temporarily experience in life… such as a bag of money, the infamous unexpected check, a fancy car to up their social status… that kind of thing.
Now don’t get me wrong, because I’m not saying that it’s impossible to do so…
It’s just that through the very act of setting our sights on manifesting something we see as a ‘rescue,’ we implicitly affirm external locus of control, and thus subtly cement our own victimhood under the guise of becoming the causative ‘manifesting’ force in our lives.
Fortunately, there’s another, more constructive way to deal with cognitive dissonance…
An Upward Spiral of Increasing Empowerment
In this case, whenever cognitive dissonance occurs, we simply take responsibility. That is: we claim our power to deliberately choose our response.
We acknowledge that impulsively and reactively looking for blame and pointing out all the things and people that are ‘wrong’ and ‘at fault’ is a vast waste of energy, and that it’s far more constructive to deliberately decide what type of response will serve us best in the situation at hand.
That way, we leverage the urge to resolve your cognitive dissonance as a driving force to recognize the unpleasant experiences for what they are: mere reflections of deeper, perhaps unconscious disharmony in your system that requires harmonization. After all:
To accept a trait or situation, no matter how unpleasant, is to have the power to change it. By doing so, the dissonance (and the accompanying desire to resolve it) becomes a tool we can use in life… an instrument on our path of evolution and growth into the person we’ve set out to become.
From there, we can deal with the inner disharmony (<– as we do for example in the Crack Your Egg Program), and then get back to deliberately and consistently embodying the values, attitudes, and behaviors that we want to see reflected in our lives instead (<– as covered this in earlier articles, like this one).
And while doing so, we can remain open to all possibility, as opposed to becoming fixated on one particular means of ‘rescue.’
That’s the way to deal with cognitive dissonance constructively. And it’s crucial to cultivate such an attitude if we want to build a sense of flow, momentum, power, livelihood, passion, inner peace, and contentment in life.
And all you need for that is a slight shift in perspective…
A ‘New’ Perspective
An important aspect of overcoming the potential disempowering effects from cognitive dissonance is to simply realize that it’s okay not to be ‘perfect’ (whatever that is), that it’s okay to be ‘wrong,’ and that it’s okay to make mistakes.
Whenever that does happen, and you realize it is so, there is no room for excuses and justifications if you want to be ‘at cause’ in your life.
As said, to accept a trait or situation is to have the power to change it.
True enough, even with such self-honesty, cognitive dissonance is still likely to occur in life… However, it no longer demands that you concoct an ever-changing story to protect your self-image of being ‘perfect’ or ‘just the way you think you are.’
Instead, you can celebrate your freedom from ignorance: take the experience, and move on.
Sure, we’ve all been ‘had’ some time… and it’s all for goodness sake. It’s called ‘experience’, the nature of life itself.
We live in a world that (by design) challenges us emotionally and morally to the extreme, and we experience this reality through ‘bodies’ with endless programs of thoughts, feelings, and behavioral urges that are constantly being triggered and played out.
So yes, when you decide to take matters in your own hands and start taking deliberate steps to transform your experience… then chances are that life will present you with challenges as part of that process. (<– There’s a particularly empowering perspective on this described in this article.)
But if you keep seeing your life as some random result that’s always the fault of other people or circumstances, you disregard your own power and responsibility (i.e. your ability to respond and do something about it)… and you’ll impulsively protect the self-identity and attitudes that got you into living the very experience that you’re not entirely happy with to start with (even if that happened unconsciously).
By doing so, you subtly perpetuate the same experience, because you constantly maintain your self-delusion that your current life experience doesn’t have anything to do with your own inner state. From your perspective, it all remains because of something or someone else.
Thus, while the prospect of having to accept your responsibility in creating this experience may not be the most comfortable one at first, the long-term ramifications of failing or refusing to do so will be much more discomforting than taking the constructive route right away… because chances are you’ll keep having to deal with re-occurring, similar tension over and over again.
True enough, your thoughts and feelings about yourself and about life in general may have been imposed and manipulated by education, media, religion, experiences in life, misinformation and misunderstandings on the topic of the ‘Law of Attraction,’ and so on.
So yes, in this way, other people and ‘outer’ circumstances may have played their part in creating and/or perpetuating your beliefs, attitudes, behaviors, and thus the nature of your life experience…
However, that doesn’t change the fact that you are still the one holding on to those thoughts and beliefs. Pointing blame doesn’t get you anywhere. It is what it is now, so the real question is:
What are you going to do about it?
That’s why it’s important to make a crucial distinction:
It’s not may not be your fault, but it is your responsibility. You have the ability to consciously choose your response without having to succumb to the whims of circumstance or surrender to the hands of ‘destiny.’
And your power to bring about the kind of change you’re looking for is far greater than what I have room for to describe in this article. (<– More about that here, here, and in upcoming material…)
For now, let me give you some steps to practice…
Steps To Practice
As explained, cognitive dissonance is a powerful phenomenon that’s in many ways inevitable. But it does present us with a choice:
- We can either let its power overwhelm us and trigger us into concocting whatever rationalization would preserve our existing self-image, attitude, and behavior (and thus cement our existing patterns more firmly)…
- Or we can leverage its power to our advantage in the process of growing more powerful as a person with true internal locus of control.
That choice is yours. And to make it consciously, ask yourself whenever discomfort occurs:
What type of response would serve me best in this situation?
Here’s a suggested approach in line with our earlier ‘Stand Your Ground’-article:
- You can treat the very sign of stress (dissonance) as a signal pointing at something inside you that you need to let go of. You’ll have to ‘read’ and ‘interpret’ these challenges as reflections of your own inner imbalances, and take them on as opportunities to ‘crack your egg.’
- As such, your initial response to it could be something along the lines of: “Copy that, loud and clear.”
- Subsequently, you can follow up with appropriate action to bring about change… either in the situation directly… or in yourself, so that you’ll either be inclined to respond differently in the future, and/or might never get into the kind of situations that triggered that type of dissonance to start with.
And besides that:
- As we’ve learned, when we hold two opposing ideas in our mind, our minds will be more inclined to reactively change our beliefs to match our behavior, as opposed to the other way around.
- So while all we keep hearing about is making changes in your mind and beliefs first, so that your actions and results in life will follow (an approach that certainly has a reasonable degree of merit)… it’s extremely valuable to amend your practice with the opposite approach…:
- Start behaving the way you want to believe.
Given what we’ve learned, our minds will be inclined to change our beliefs in reaction to doing so, in order to have a supporting self-image and logical ‘reason why’ for that behavior.
As such, your attitudes and beliefs will shift swiftly, and often turn out to not be as fixed and inert as we’re often led to believe.
This is in fact a highly significant missing link in by far the great majority of contemporary self-help approaches (at least at the time of writing this).
But without including this in your practice, you’ll be inclined to wait until everything feels perfect mentally and emotionally before taking any kind of constructive action to make things happen in life.
And as we all know, we hardly ever feel as though we’ve reached that point… and we usually never will if we don’t amend our practice as described above.
Thus, the wait tends to turn into a perpetual one (<– and probably one for which the resulting ‘cognitive dissonance’ will have us explain it away as something along the lines of: “You see, none of this stuff works… It’s all a bunch of BS… I just can’t change… I’m powerless after all… etc.”).
Now you know what you can do about that:
Keep this practice up consistently. It will seriously accelerate your results in the process of changing your beliefs, and your life along with it.
You’ll notice your experience improving by the day… just like your inner sense of power and internal locus of control will keep growing exponentially.
But nothing will happen if you merely wait…
So just take the steps. And in the process, leverage Leverage your new understanding of cognitive dissonance to Crack Your Egg!
Your material is lovely, but I have a problem: Everything, including technology, is used against me….
I am very much impressed with all your writings that I have read in the last 2 months, they are the best ! , they go much deeper to my understanding of how all the manifestation Laws work.
Your precission of words and easy to understand way of saying things and your explanations are great!!!
Thank you so very much for your articles.
Hi, and thank you so much Hank. You are extraordinary.
I do have to “crack a lots of eggs”, will not be easy after so many years living in the “fog”…, but willing to change..
Waiting for your next article, and wishing you and yours the best.
Brilliant article, thank you for writing it. Totally agree with people remembering to always recognize that your outside reality will always reflect back to you where you are not fully accepting and loving of your WHOLE self. I always keep in my mind that the yin & yang sign includes light & dark, we too have both we are inclusive of good bad, hot cold etc etc, we can be loving one minute and hateful the next. Its about intergration not segregation accept you have all aspects of yourself and remember you can CHOOSE which side you would like to respond with. Just like a battery it has both a negative end and a positive end why pretend to be something your are not? accept and love yourself wholey and stop beating yourself up when you are not fully accepting & loving yourself, because your `outside reality` will always, always let you know when you are doing that to yourself. Enjoy the ride, stop looking for the end of the journey, it never ends !!!!!
Can`t wait for your new work on `cracking the egg`!
In the vernacular tongue, “you’re not thinking straight” to use the american idiom. There are similar phrases in Australia. Because most of the world’s population are in this confused state of mind, they can be, and are, manipulated by those who are focussed on a certain line of thinking. Until the bulk of the people do become straight in their focus this manipulation will continue. This is good for Big Pharma, the food processing companies, (think of the advertisements of Coca Cola as an example), and so the list continues. But it comes back to me and my perceptions of the world and what is within it. It is not always pleasant to look in the mirror.
its truly enriching , fantastic , scientific ….helped in manifesting my thought in much better dimension . thank you so much
You are right and I am embarrassed. So no more blaming and finger pointing, just a need to reflect and rectify. Thank-you for pointing me in the right path.
I AM GLAD TO READ THIS ARTICLE IT IS VERY NICE TO READY AND USEFUL TO HUMAN KIND BY M.RGAURAM,INDIA
Leadership is recognizing that we are all ONE. That every person you lead is as brilliant as you, as talented as you, and has the same capacity for growth and accomplishment. They simply need to be reminded of this fact. ~ Vishen Lakhiani
When you listen to the deepest calling of your soul, and align your life with your essence, miracles happen. ~ Carol Goddard
“To Know Nature is to put one’s self in perfect harmony with the universe,
Heaven & Earth are One,
So must we seek a discipline of mind & body within ourselves”~ Kwai Chang Caine~Kung Fu~(David Carradine)
Listen to your body & how your heart & Stomache reacts to each situation when you visualize them~when you feel inner peace that will be your answer~You have everything you need within you~Believe in your true self~in Love & Truth~*Me~Lisa Morris*~
Thanks, Henk, for your lucid and illuminating words.
Some years ago, I pondered long on the nature of blasphemy, and why it is considered a “sin”. But, first, that word also required definition. I came to the conclusion that sin is a sub-optimal thought or action and, being imperfect, we cannot avoid being “sinners”. We can, however, avoid imposing the results of our imperfections deliberately on others, which can lead to “Evil”. Having settled that in my mind, I was forced to ask “How could blasphemy possibly do any harm to, or even insult, an omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent entity which created everything—including us?
The only possible victim of blasphemy, then, must be ourselves! If I hit my thumb with a hammer I will involuntarily invoke the name of one whom many people regard as their personal saviour. My swearing indicates plainly that, at that moment, I have lost control of the situation, and harm occurs through not admitting to myself that it was I who was responsible and not some external force. (I was later delighted to find the etymology of the word “blame” in a dictionary: it is a corruption and abbreviation of “blasphemy”.)
The immediate bonus of recognising one’s own responsibility is: more rapid healing of the injury. And who knows the limits of long-term benefits?
At 91 years of age, I now not only know that one should not cry over spilt milk, but that one never will cry over Cracked Eggs.
Thanks again.
Yea sincerly speaking am surfuring from that type of problem. and fail go out of it.
I wrote a whole book on Quitting Smoking, using this thinking, never thought of labeling it as cognitive dissonance.
Dear Henk. Your articles always make me laugh! Love your straight terminology!
Are you a taurean? I am a taurean and I speak my mind fearlessly!
I stopped lying to myself in 2005, when I realized I wasn’t such a “good person” after all!
That was after I acquired the DVD “What the bleep…” which started to awake me to who I
really was, and why? Then I got your material which to me at the time was mind blowing!
Then “The Secret” came out and further convinced me of what I so far had understood! I must say these last 6 years of my life have been exceedingly exciting, although at the time I
didn’t think this way. To counter balance the negative garbage I ignorantly stuffed my
subconscious mind with, it takes painstaking time and consistency. Only NOW I can say
I have won the battle. I AM FREE, FREE, FREE!!!
I love you with all my heart. I owe you the opening of my understanding to search for
the truth. For that I am at your service forever! Blessed you are, dear one. Namaste.
I love this article anew every time I read it, Henk. This time, I was also able to realize how perfectly timed (like everything, everytime?) it appeared in my life. Thank you both, once again.
Generally I do not read article on blogs, but I would like to say that this write-up very forced me to try and do it! Your writing style has been surprised me. Thanks, very nice article.
Thank You, Gratis, So much I was just pondering this exact thing while reading my email and feeling like a failure and praying for guidance and understanding.HMMMMMM it works quick when not dwelling on it.I have been having great trouble “manifesting what I Want” understatement I have been Manifesting shit big heaping piles of it with tears in my eyes as I write this letter I now understand.How LOA has been working in my life.I have felt that I am not worthy, I have let others influence my self worth,I have never stood up for myself although I can be found going to the mat for someone else.Time to take it to the mat for myself.If there is someone that needs to give me a break and a fair shake Its me.I will read this again till I stop crying. Love and Peace to all Thanks Henk Big smile right acha Looking in the Mirror Big Smile right at me.
Yes. I love It. Its amezingely Simple and Efffectivee….creaking eggs…..As I Know where I am..Bit more efforts….Thank YOU for this article.
As always you’re spot on with what you say. It makes sense now why many years ago when my marital relationship was destroying my spirit, I prayed for a ‘better life’. By this I thought that an improved financial income will solve our problems. However the answer to my prayer was the break up of my marriage! As you so clearly explained I now see why the universe/God answered my prayer the way it turned out. My situation back then was a perfect example of cognitive dissonance.
I left my marriage trusting that while I could not understand what was happening to me I kept telling myself that when things go wrong they are meant to go wrong. Despite the immense pain I experienced in the years that followed I couldn’t help but be grateful for all the lessons I learnt along the way. After a while I learnt to welcome the apparently negative experiences that came my way looking forward to the lesson gained for having gone through these experiences. I realised then that these so called negative experiences are gifts to teach and help me become the person that I am. I love the me that I am getting to know and accept with all my shortcomings and giftings.
The universe/God certainly gave me a better life by teaching me to understand that to be able to forgive others I must learn to forgive myself first. the second biggest lesson I learnt is that the hardest person to be honest with is yourself and unless you can be honest with yourself you can’t expect to be honest with anyone else. This incredible lesson on honesty helped me to love and accept myself as I am which helped me to love and accept others as they are. Learning to let go of unreal expectations of myself and others is so liberating you can’t help but feel that love bubbling out of you. I learnt that letting go of everything opened up for me the means of gaining back everything that I have ever wanted and needed. By that I am not referring to material gain but rather to that true contentment in life and that peace that surpasses understanding. Gaining back the things in life that money can’t buy like the fruits of the spirit as mentioned in the bible.
Thank you so much for your articles. I always look forward to hearing from you.
Great article ! What a spiritual explanation! Thank you for sharing. Looking forward to your E-book on “Crack your egg”. Many Blessings!
YES ,,, crack your egg ,,, peel your onion ,,, GET DEEP ,,, and then breathe,,, Love making mistakes to learn from ,, Enjoy NOT being perfect ,,, Liberate yourself to LIFE as it really is ,,, “KNOWING” ,,,, ALL IS WELL ,, I love when you explain that IT’s OKAY ,, IT IS !!! ,,, always , is NOW ,, and forever BE !!!
Thanks – great great article!
Just the premise of – Life reflects the way we think/feel of OURSELVES deep inside – never quite looked at it to that degree. More words of wisdom – We attract the very experiences designed to break thru whatever is keeping us from experiencing what we really want, and Life is showing us what that is! I will be sitting w/those words.
Love & Light 🙂
Hey Henk,
Spot On Info. Personally, I like these phrases, which in my opinion, sum it up pretty well for most of us who have a handle on L.O.A.:
“… as a man thinketh, so, he is…”
“Be careful of what you ask for… you just might get it.”
My slant on all of this:
Everybody has mental CRUD. It becomes a matter of identifying “The Crud”, which rattles around in our SUB-conscious minds. So, if you’ve been trying to “manifest” a cool million dollars using L.O.A., BUT, all you’ve been able to get is “more bills”, then perhaps, you’ve been coming at it from an incorrect, mental crud, assumption. (lack / insufficiency)
We, as human beings, are born with only 2 fears… those being the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. EVERYTHING ELSE IS LEARNED BEHAVIOR. So, its not a wonder that the first word out of a toddler’s mouth, besides “Mama or Dada” just happens to be the word “NO”.
With THAT kind of Learned / Taught understanding of our own “Personal Reality”, its no wonder that most people have a difficult time with “manifesting” the things that they THINK THEY DESIRE.
Another thing that I see continually is a huge misunderstanding and use of the word “Belief”.
Regardless of what Webster’s has to say about the definition, “BELIEF” has the inherent meaning that “Sure, I may BELIEVE this to be true, mostly on faith, but, I’M NOT CERTAIN”.
For example: “What one can conceive and BELIEVE, one can achieve” should be changed to something more like this…
“What one can conceive and KNOW, one can achieve” (Yes, I found this phrase elsewhere, but for the life of me, I don’t recall where).
So, essentially, we’ve all been programmed from the time we could understand verbal language to conform and adapt to our “Superior’s Perceived Reality” (parents). Sure, they meant well, all parents want better for their offspring then they had, and with a limited understanding of how THIS EXISTENCE works, they were just doing the best that they could with the information and BELIEF SYSTEM that they had available to them at the time.
So, how does one remove or replace this lovingly installed programming? First, it has to be identified as incorrect or faulty. Secondly, the information MUST be SEPARATED from the EMOTION which has been associated with it (doing so will diffuse the emotional impact of the firmly held BELIEF and thus relegate the INFORMATION attached to it to nothing more than factual data). At this point, changes to one’s programming can be made.
Granted, not all of the resulting information will be useful, ie.: “… if I don’t go to sleep, the monsters who live under my bed will get me”. Silly?, sure. But, you’d be surprised to find that there’s a whole bunch of insomniacs out there who hold onto this exact piece of programming. They were told / taught / programmed early in life that there would be grave consequences for non-conforming behavior (won’t go to sleep) and this consequence came in the form of “The Monster From Under The Bed”.
So, with a bunch of incorrect programming and the continuous battle for supremacy between the conscious and sub-conscious mind going on, its no wonder that most people find using any form of L.O.A. difficult at best. On the one hand, we want specific changes to be made, or manifested, within ourselves or our perceived reality and on the other, we have a continual struggle for control of that reality.
A “Catch-22”?
Hardly.
Try this: Whatever you’ve been trying to manifest, doesn’t matter what it is, bring it to the front of your conscious thoughts just as you’ve been doing. Now, instead of “making your request to the universe for it”, imagine that you can visually see and physically hold whatever it happens to be. Now, focus your awareness on how you FEEL EMOTIONALLY regarding this, as yet to be manifested, item or circumstance.
If you have any kind of “Mental Shift”, emotionally speaking, you may want to take a closer look at your “Beliefs” surrounding it. So, as I said earlier, if you’ve been trying to manifest “money”, but when you “Hold it up to the Light” for a closer inspection, all you “FEEL” is “Negative Emotions”, there’s most likely some kind of emotional blockage which is in direct conflict with that which you want to create. Just the act of “Looking at a Belief” in a new light can sometimes be enough to dispel it. Sort of like the old phrase, “… Hey, it SOUNDED GREAT while I was THINKING about it, BUT, when I wrote it DOWN ON PAPER…”
So, Mental Control Battles (Conscious Dissonance) aside, check your mental programming for “Bugs” first. Let’s face it, you can’t use a computer with any kind of good results if your operating system has a virus, so it goes for the human mind. You can’t manifest what your conscious mind desires as long as your sub-conscious mind has other “Beliefs” that directly conflict with it.
So, drop (separate) the “Emotional Baggage” from the Experience, send the experience that started it all into your memory as “INFORMATION ONLY”, reconcile your “beliefs” regarding it, and try again from a new perspective which has been founded on facts not childhood programming.
Your thoughts?
Amazing how many years we can spend working on ourselves, yet it can be so easy to “snooze”, lol. Thanks for the article, no nonsense and straight to the point. I’ve been working hard on remaining congruent, your article is not only encouraging, it is also a push in the right direction…Thanks.
Blessings
Joseph
Perfect timing. On top of three assaults in one week, eviction, and not getting my grade from my internship director, some one cut the big strong cable to my bike and took the joy of transportation I grew into after selling my broken car. I have been thinking I’m on the wrong track. Wow what an opportunity to grow into what half of my mind is creating by noticing the other half’s power over my interpretation of current circumstances.
No really thanks. I needed the reminder and specific distinction.
best to you. keep up the good work.
makes a lot of sense. the problem i had before i got to accept similar logic was how to let go of my ego. i have since learnt. many thanks.
I think you Henk, you are doing a fantastic job with all these articles that have to do with the law of attraction. Keep them coming I can’t wait for the next article. Thank you and keep up the good work.
I think you present a fresh and beneficial voice on the Law of Attraction. So the following observations are concerning the many other interpretations that I have researched.
I certainly agree that life is about expressing and experiencing who we truly are. We may believe that we are courageous, but we only know it when we have the experience of choosing to walk through our fears.
However, discernment can be a stumbling block. I grew up optimistic, believed that I could accomplish whatever I put my mind and effort into, and that whatever I experienced was the result of my own doing. If someone was angry at me, I must have done something. If someone was disappointed in my results, I must not have tried hard enough. If someone bumped into me, I must have been in the way. So I tried to be nicer, meet more expectations, and never say, do or feel anything that may cause another any discomfort. Needless to say, eventually, there was no me left. A extremely painful place to be.
I eventually learned that often, people’s opinions of me had more to do with them, than with me. Naturally, I have to evaluate each situation with rigorous self honesty, first, and if I have a part to play, make the necessary changes. But not all unpleasantness in my life is the result of my own lack of character, behavior, etc., even though that still tends to be my first notion. Nor is all kindness the result of a spotless character. There are some people who express kindness, and others that can not, at least at the current point in there existence.
In addition, some advocates of the Law of Attraction imply that right thought and feelings will produce a life without any unpleasantness. However, Gandhi was beaten for peacefully resisting the dehumanizing laws of the British authority. Christ was crucified for living and sharing his truth. Are we to assume that peace and love are negative? However, it is true that their insistence on living according to these values, resulted in the unpleasantness they experienced. But their thoughts, feelings and actions were certainly positive, at least in according to my priorities.
Cause and effect is not always simple and straight forward in a complex, evolving, multi dimensional universe.
Many courageous individuals that have spoken up about misconduct in the corporation for whom they work, have suffered far greater consequences than the culprits that perpetrated the misconduct. Often, we side step honesty when there is something that we value or need that may be at stake. And we certainly do create moral sounding rationales that convince not only ourselves, but other people, absolving themselves of that moral dilemma should they be faced with a similar situation. We then embrace these notions as a society. But real individuals pay the price and we also pay for denying our inner truth.
Although spiritual integrity and character may not always yield an external payoff, one does experience oneself as being a person of integrity, courage, who expresses their authentic truth. And a person that can be truly honest, even when they have everything to lose, and survive. That eliminates a whole host of fears that most of us constantly harbor somewhere inside. And that is the real payoff for being aware of the experiences the life brings us, and then choosing to make the changes that will enable us to more clearly express our authentic self. There is a growing sense of personal freedom, serenity and inner peace, no matter our external circumstances.
Contrary to what some advocates of the Law of Attraction imply (not you guys), external wealth, power and prestige do not necessarily reflect a person of great character, who understands and applies universal laws, spiritual principles and have obtained a greater spiritual consciousness. Nor does a meager bank account and cancer represent a person who harbors negative beliefs, thoughts and feelings. (I just received an email that actually claimed this from a respected Law of Attraction teacher.)
Yes, we can learn something from every situation we experience. It is always our choice to become bitter or better. To blame or to understand. To show compassion and support or to justify our avoidance by saying that they attracted their miserable situation. Perhaps when we encounter someone in distress, the lesson is for us – tolerance, non judgment, priorities, etc.
Patterns of behavior, repeating circumstances, without doubt, point to areas in ourselves that we need to explore and address. And life is a vehicle for us to express who we are, to experience who we are being, and to change and evolve (consciously and spiritually, not just technologically) , then to express and experience who we have become, then once again change and evolve……..
However, the attitude that if we simply align our beliefs, thoughts and feelings with our desires, (even adding the stipulation that they are not overtly harmful to others,) suggests that we have control over the workings of a complex universe that we are not even close to understanding.
But more than that, we are claiming that the Created (us), are now in control of the Creative Source, It must respond according to our thoughts, beliefs and feelings. In the end, our satisfaction or discontent with our life experience has more to do with our inner condition than with our external one. The Law of Attraction can help us to improve our inner condition, (it is not the only Universal Law at work however). But too often, the interpretations that are so popular, are misleading, judgmental and more material than spiritual.
henk,
i would be very grateful of you for comprehensive article again,i have been blaming my self for all mistakes,which i do along my life ,but unfortunately i have’nt attempted to change myself ,in spite of i knew that iam responsible for all my disappointments .
best wishes
mohammad reza sedghi
Ahhhh. The truth makes you free and sets you free – it is amazing how unique each one of us is. And how we need these truths presented in our reality. Thank you for sharing – this is something that I have lived in my life – big picture-wise – and you broke it down to the details that make up my big picture. Wow! How united is that. Thanks again and I am sharing this with my guy – as a vision clarity devise – Ha! Yeah! 🙂
Hi Henk,
Thanks for a very inspiring article. Very generous of you to share this with us.
Appreciate it very much.
Blessings.
Berny
You are dead on!!!!!!!!thank you for helping me to see clearly!!!!
Just wanted to say how much I enjoyed this article on the LOA. It clarifies many issues I had with it, as well. Our own instinct for the imbalances in our lives struck home as I knew since I was a teenager there was something not on track within myself. I researched and studied books, listened to tapes and cds, and along the way I discovered the Lefkoe Process which helped tremendously with getting me on the track I was meant to be on. Through my own understanding and choice. “To that background, it’s important that you don’t have to be ‘perfection’, ‘sweetness’ and ‘light’ every waking moment… nor do you have to be everything you’d like to be and convince yourself that you are.
You’re okay already. That realization is the starting point from which all else follows.” I am following my passion for writing and realizing I cannot either control or interfere with other’s journeys. There has been much pain lately with a death in my husband’s family; pain that could be diffused. Yet, I know that it is up to the participants to realize it in themselves. To acknowledge the imbalance. I am going to use this information to create my vision board now that the meaning of the LOA has been brought down to Earth.
Love and Light,
Lauren
I always enjoy what you have to say and today was a very good day for me to read this article. It is not so much reading something I did not already know and BELIEVE, but getting a dose of WHAT I DO BELIEVE. And, not unlike me, the persons making the positive postings you have received also got comfort in reading something with which they could agree and about which they could feel good. At its most basic level, that is what we want from life – to feel good. And although we all find ourselves in very different lives, we can, for the most part, be happy with them (our lives) by the way we perceive them.
But going back to cognitive dissonance (a favorite phrase for me from long ago) and its its potential to teach and challenge us. By definition it brings up my main chosen challenge in life and that is to reject much of what is (by mainstream standards) considered truth or fact. In another article I read earlier today by Alexander Green of the Oxford Club, he talks of pragmatism and its need for “known facts”. So to him, I questioned the absurdity of believing in “known facts”. It was a “fact” at one time that the world was flat and the sun revolved around it. Well, I think we can all agree that is not true but then there are hundreds of thousands of other “facts” that are proven untrue every day. And more importantly I think that the “known facts” at any given moment are relative to the “knower”.
So how much do we accept of our apparent reality and how much do we reject? And by reject I don’t mean to fight it but replace it. Once we make the leap to realizing we are the sole responsible party in our life and how it has turned out so far, then without interfering with others realities, where can we go? What are the limits of our reality and how can we best utilize the Law of Attraction to find out?
I have chosen the human body as my laboratory of choice in the quest for testing some of the limits of life’s malleability. From a childhood of fantasy, to pre-med, to health consultanting and to metaphysics, I have seen the tragedy of our biggest hurdle to being happy and that is good health. Our bodies are such a reflection of how we are doing with our attractions but then it’s back to cognitive dissonance once again. My biggest challenge has been to “reprogram” my brain through my subconscious to reject the mainstream expectation of how a body should thrive (or more often not thrive). I am doing a great job with it but I have a way to go. I want to be the proof of what might be possible.
So after all the discourse, my questions to you are
1) Do you believe there really are limits to what can be achieved? (other than ourselves)
2) What is the best way to break out of mainstream beliefs?
3) What are the best tools for reprogramming one’s beliefs? (Mind Movies, etc)
Thanks again for all your inspiration. Namaste!
Charles
When you find your peace of mind, then life takes on new meaning, it also shows that the power from within, is the only power there is, which tells any inndividual that creation with intuition are the seeds for growth, so if love and truth are planted in the soil of love what will be the harvest? Good will be the result for the whole of mankind.
Maybe we should stop calling it “The Law of Attraction” and call it by its real name:
The Law of Reflection.
Yes I applaud the manner by which you have made the association between cognitive dissonance and the law of attraction. I agree that the discomfort is a definite part of the process of dissonance,,,,I wrote my thesis on Cognitive dissonance in respect to religion…and here I purposely incited dissonant components to a proposed study.. So discomforting elements are necessary and important components of how one manages the dissonance whether positively or negatively.
Very good article. After reading the comments I see that the people who didn’t agree with it missed the point, but their comments actually support the points in the article. The fact is the law of attraction is always working. Whether you are getting good or bad results (All results are good because even ones you don’t want help you to focus on what you do want and then move towards that) is determined by what vibrations you are putting out there. If you aren’t getting the results you want right now you have to understand that what you are getting now is the results of what you put out there before in terms of thoughts, feelings, and words. As you deal with those issues (learn from them by understanding what thoughts, feelings, and words brought them to you in the first place) you will be moving forward and getting more of what you want, because you have started changing what you feel, think, and say and those things will come back to you as you move forward in time. We are not yet to the point where we instantly manitfest things as we feel, think, or say them. There is a delay factor because we are on this world and don’t have the full understanding of who and what we are. Here we have emotions, ego, and other human traits (that we came here to learn and expirence) that often take control of our minds. Imagine what would happen if every thought or feeling we had came in to being as we had it on this world! As we move forward in understanding who and what we really are and get in tune with our spirit self, the mantisfestions will come faster because our thoughts, feelings, and words will be based on love, not fear. Love is the major vibration of the universe and the more we live based on that, the faster we move forward. The more you live based on love, the less you will find you want or need alot of the things (millions of dollars, huge homes, private planes, garages full of fancy cars, ect) we think will make us happy on this world, and the more time you will spend loving who you are and wanting to help others including mother earth. Go inside yourself and find your purpose for being on this world at this time in history, follow it, and you will not only be happy, but always have what you want.
you are so generous for sharing these insightful articles..they are the first things i read!
Absolutely spot on. Just over 3 years ago I stopped myself from swallowing – quite literally for months. Even though I had lots of tests done telling me there was nothing physically wrong with me (I kept saying to myself the doctors were missing something) it wasn’t until I took full responsibility that I could change.
The prospective of this verbage is absolutely right on, and I thank you. Your timing is
impecable. I am my worst enemy. Reflections do give you the truth and awareness w/o
them we’d all be lost.
Mike Dooley” Notes from the Universe” has a great quote:
“Whenever something doesn’t work out the way you thought it would, instead of thinking that something went wrong, see it as something that went unexpectedly well, but for reasons that are not yet apparent.”
I love this
Thanks a lot for this.
Thanks for the awesome article. Years ago, my mother used to call me long distance and yell at me that I was, “setting myself up to fail.” Too bad I hadn’t listened to her then, as all the years I have wasted, appear precious to me now. But, hey, better late than never, so thanks again for your positive re-inforcements.
Thank you. As usual, great article. To the point.
I love you so much. Thank you for everything you are doing and giving me the wisdom and knowledge that I need just when I need it. You have played a big role in my awakening. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will shovel my shit and spread the love and truth just as you have.
Wow your article really resonated. It put everything into perspective – thank you.
Appreciate your article, very good analysis, very thought provocing. It shows you have some great insight. I would also call for a more definite way to solve this dissonance, although discuss it at length, which is the ultimate truth? And which choice will be the better? Maybe both will be as good in the end? Would like your feedback on that.
Thanks. This is helpful to me. I stress these ideas all the time in my work with teachers.
I learned to stop being NICE or NASTY…just enjoy being NORMAL.thanks a lot for giving eyes to another blind man!
WOW!WOW!!WOW!!! at last the day breaks for me! you ever word is just choosen FOR ME. i have gone thru almost every one of the episodes you happen to mention–got duped by a doomsday cult which said Jesus is coming on 8:30pm on 28 October 1992 (YESTERDAY ANNIVERSARY!) , a messy divorce after 29 years of happy marriage, lost all property,job,health,friends,brother took away all property,ministry crashed…just like Job.NOW I KNOW WHY! congnative dissonance explains this all.why LOA was working beautifully ALL the time…but i was attracting just junk! oh,my God…thank you and thank you too.i bought your material a long time ago, but it is now i have woken up. anyhow i am well on the way of recovery already since this year. the wavering man achieves nothing good. i have much more to share, but later.KEEP ME POSTED PLEASE…and just don’t stop.i live and work in New Delhi,India.thanks a million.
Hai,
it is really beautiful..worth reading..worth considering for the improvement of life..better to deal with stress than acting as happy and perfectt. atain real happiness and celebrate life
Wow, this was a thought provoking article. Very well written. I think you explaine quite clearly that the Law of Attraction is always in effect. It’s akin to electricity. We are always connected to it, but not always conscious that we are attracting the very things that make up our lives. The question isn’t does The Law of Attraction work, but rather; how can we shift our consciousness enough to change what we are attracting into our lives.
Unfortunately, we are creatures whose thoughts, behaviors and decisions are based on old memories replaying in our subconscious minds. It is very dificult for us to think out of that box and accept new ideas and thoughts. When we are presented with a new idea and try to use it in our lives, there is a conflict with those old memories replaying in our subconscious minds, thus, “cognitive disonance”.
We are all perfect spiritual beings, experiencing life in human bodies. The challenges we face as human beings are all self created. Resolution of the problems we face only requires a shift in consciousness.
Thank you so much for your articles. You have helped to open my conscious ness.
Wilbur Blakely
I have done a great deal of research on the Law of Attraction and thought that I had a pretty good handle on it until this article of yours which is an epiphany for me, my “aha” moment. Thank you.
Great and insightful advice as usual. I do so enjoy reading all the info you send….thank you.!!
Henk,
This information is a leading power that can bring about great benefit for all humanity
Looking forward to cracking some eggs, as I have being trying to reach these unreachable people, who try to make every excuse under the sun, not to do anything.
Belief is that they think they are doing a fantastic job with their endeavours, but they are only kidding themselves, which results in thousands of lives being lost on our roads, the unnecessary road deaths are solved quite easily with new ideas like roadlites. Malcolm
Lucid and powerful….
Thank you. That was *perfect.* :0)
WHERE HAVE I BEEN!? I have read the ‘Mirror Guidance’ hundreds of times, but I think I just had somewhat of an AH HA MOMENT here!! I think my understanding of ESHO FUNI also went to the next level
Hi,
Thank you for this article. Just this morning I was aware that I had conflicting thoughts about money, and though I was seeing it in abundance, I was still experiencing a lack of it.
I was aware of this conflict and your article just gave me an Ah-ha moment while
I was talking to myself about this, I was telling that “sabotaging limiting voice” in my head that it is now time that it shut up and let me experience the “goodness of money”. And before noon arrived a call from a client who wanted to pay later.
Here was my chance to start implementing my other belief that conflicted with what I thought was my “good-nature”: It is Okay to ask for money, it is okay to refuse services to people who say they cannot pay now but will pay later. It does not mean that you are a mean person. In the past I used to give in thinking I am helping people in need, but I was just causing myself more frustration and resentment. And that led to more dissonance..
SO thanks once again for this article. Now that I am aware of this cognitive dissonance at a conscious level, it will be easier to get things in perspective.
Hi, I’m in cognitive resonance with your ideas, that’s a good sign we’re on the right track. Sure we have plenty of rock hard eggs to crack. Some days when tired and run down it feels impossible, other days life is amazingly bright and shiny full of music and dance and full of smiley laughter and creativity. My step is light and I feel I can fly so naturally. So I just be aware of these experiences, and also be aware of the experiences around me, other people truly do reflect my own experience, (especially children). We naturally wish/desire/want to help others, great, so we help ourselves. Sharing and caring generates energy, it ignites the passion in us to appreciate and enjoy life, the gift of life in the core depths of our Being. Cheers, I gotta go lie down in the sun and be aware of and feel this flu fully, and how crap I feel. Yeh to feeling crap! Yeh to feeling wonderful! Simply Yeh!
Thanks for the logical way to explain. ur articles always lure me to read. thanks once again.
This article is helpful. I’d like to read some more article about the Value of culture and their role in language teaching. Thanks.
Thanks so much for your article – I have found that cognitive dissonance (once you’re aware of it) is a guidepost to whatever it is you need to pay attention to.
Then the next step is to apply what Charles Darwin said:”The highest possible stage in moral culture is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.”
Thanks again
Ronnie
Another great post. You are truly my fave; just thought you’d like to know that. Thanks. Of course, NONE of this applies to me, but there are a lot of wacky people in my life, so I’ll be forwarding it to them and hoping they finally get their shit together. : )
This piece is PHENOMENAL!! I wish more people could read it. It resonates for me as I look back on the crap I have been shoveling lately, and as I make daily assessment of the why, I understand that there are still some underlying beliefs that are stuck within me and have caused the situations. Thank you Henk. I love your work.
This article so makes sense, I found it refreshing, thank you. As a new follower of Buddhism it fits in with what I am learning about how life ‘works’ especially for me. When things don’t work out the way I had hoped or when people ‘get up my nose’ Buddhist teachings encourage me to see these experiences as blessed, for I have much to learn about myself! That these experiences that cause me states of being uncomfortable, stressed and ill at ease, are opportunities for me to grow…and very often I need reminders, for I can forget and feel miserable. I liked how you explained the concept of ‘cognitive dissonance’ and the examples given. Thank you.
HENK, THANK YOU FOR A VERY PRECISE & ACCURATE ARTICLE. IT SPEAKS OF THE WORK YOU HAVE DONE TO ACHIEVE THIS LEVEL OF UNDERSTANDING. IT TAKES GREAT COURAGE TO CHOOSE TO EVOLVE, THE PATH IS FRAUGHT WITH FRUSTRATION & MILITATES GREAT EFFORT. MOST OF US WILL SHRINK AWAY FROM THE CHALLENGE, THOUGH EVOLVE WE MUST, NO MATTER HOW MANY LIFETIMES IT TAKES. SO YOU MAY AS WELL TAKE RESPONSIBILITY & GET ON WITH IT. THE CHOICE IS AT OUR DISCRETION. WE ARE VERY BLESSED TO LIVE IN A MILIEU WHERE THE EVOLUTIONARY PRESSURE HAS INCREASED TREMENDOUSLY, (SEE DR. DAVID HAWKINS ‘POWER VS. FORCE’). PROBLEMS/LIFE ISSUES CAN SEEM LIKE A TISSUE BOX WHERE PLUCKING THE FIRST TISSUE OUT IS DIFFICULT, THEN THERE IS ANOTHER & ANOTHER, ET CETERA. BUT WITH CONTINUED FOCUS & EFFORT A DESIRED RESULT BECOMES APPARENT, THAT IS THE TISSUE BOX BECOMES EMPTIED & WE ARE READY FOR THE NEXT TISSUE BOX BUT WITH A MUCH IMPROVED STRENGTH OF WILL TO EMPTY THAT PARTICULAR BOX. OR IT IS LIKE BEING BORN OVER & OVER AGAIN. MOST OF US DO NOT REMEMBER BEING BORN BECAUSE IT WAS NOT VERY MUCH FUN & BEAT THE HELL OUT OF OUR MOTHERS & US. MANY DO NOT SURVIVE THE EXPERIENCE. GO TO AN INFANTS GRAVEYARD TO HELP REINFORCE YOUR GRATITUDE FOR YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO EXPERIENCE THE PRIVILEGE, WONDER, SHEER IMPROBABILITY & MIRACLE OF LIFE IN A MATERIAL BODY FOR IT IS ALSO NO EASY TASK. BUT IF YOU ARE HERE IT IS BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN WILL TO BE HERE, (SEE “TALKS WITH RAMANA MAHARSHI” IN WHICH HE ASKS ‘WHO ARE YOU’?). THESE WORKS HAVE HELPED POWER MY OWN CHOICE TO EVOLVE, AS HAVE YOUR OWN OUTPUT MACROSTRUCTURE OF WORK, HENK & NICKOLAS, WHICH IS WHY I HAVE PURCHASED THEM. I DEMAND & WILL ONLY ACCEPT WORK OF THE VERY BEST QUALITY. PRAISE FOR WORK WELL DONE IS APPROPRIATE & IN ORDER. I RECOMMEND TO ALL OF YOU TO AVAIL YOURSELVES OF THE OPPORTUNITY TO HELP POWER YOUR OWN EVOLUTION WITH THESE EXCELLANT MATERIALS IF EVOLUTION IS YOUR CHOICE. TAKE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY TO BE FULLY INVOLVED WITH YOUR OWN ‘STRUGGLE’ UNTIL IT IS NO LONGER A ‘STRUGGLE’, IT’S VERY LIBERATING & YOU’LL BE GLAD YOU DID. WILLIAM BLAKE & EMERSON ARE GOOD FOR MEDITATIONS AS WELL. TO A READER WHO INQUIRED ON AN EARLIER POST WHAT THOSE FUNNY LITTLE FIGURE 8 SHAPES I USED BETWEEN WORDS WERE FOR, THEY ARE CALLED AMPERSANDS, (LOOK IT UP IN THE DICTIONARY), THEY ARE A STANDARD TOOL IN INFORMAL WRITTEN ENGLISH TO SUBSTITUTE FOR WRITING THE WORD ‘AND’. FROM BUDDHA, “ALL THAT WE ARE IS A RESULT OF WHAT WE HAVE THOUGHT.” AGAIN, THANK YOU HENK.
Thank you, thank you, for such a brilliant and useful article . Keep up the great intellectual work. Many of us could use this.
This article helps me to understand some ideas I’ve read recently. That if, for example, someone is trying to take advantage of your good nature it is only because you, yourself, are not aware that your gullibility and naivety is causing, and probably always has caused, many of your past and present problems. If you have got to a stage where you recognize ‘cognitive dissonance’ in yourself because in some area of your life you have cognitive consonance, you are at a stage where you can, at last, do something about it. That is something to be thankful for. Next, you must believe in your power to change for the good if you have changed some of your life for the better already. So, if you recognize dissonance coming from some external event which leads to a thought/feeling (it will be a bad one!), then you are in a great position to know why you have this feeling as the thoughts linked to it will show you the way. For example, I speak to someone with whom I have a history. After the conversation I feel bad and have some negative thoughts about them. I know that it will not help me just to have negative thoughts about someone, infact, it will not help me at all. This is because I also know that if the problem (my problem of bad thoughts/feelings) didn’t lie with me I would have no way of changing it to a non-problem. So, now I know that although the other person (my external stimulus) is a part of my problem, it is in no way helpful to me to try to deal with them and their part in it. It can only be helpful to me, in as much as I want to rid myself of this negative thought/feeling which has apparently appeared from outside of myself, to examine my own part in it. This may lead me to realize that I have always had this problem (of lets say gullibility), but while it led to no cognitive dissonance (i.e. this situation is bad for me but I let it continue) as I was not at the right stage to even notice it, I could not change my part in it. Now I can see that although the other person may be trying to take advantage of me and presumably has some problems of their own related to this behaviour, it is of none of my concern. My concern is with my own behaviour because, having overcome my propensity to be gullible it is no longer possible to take advantage of me and my problem is solved.
The best thing I’ve realized through discovering (becoming consciously aware of) the Law of Attraction, is that life is no longer a mysterious force that happens to me! Can anyone else feel the RELIEF in that? I spent many months wrestling with the cognitive dissonance produced by discovering a philosophy of life that resonated so deeply with every fiber of my being and the philosophy upon which I had formed all of my beliefs prior to that. Yet I was unable to find one single event in my life that had not been a direct reflection of my dominant thoughts/beliefs/feelings at the time. And that remains true to this moment. Since there is no one or nothing to blame for undesirable events in my life experience, my only choice is to take another long, hard look at myself if I want to feel good (or relieve the stress related to the cognitive dissonance.) Ah-h-h SWEET FREEDOM!
The most useful thing here for me to take away is the understanding that the LOA is ALWAYS working – it’s never not working properly or ‘switched off’ . We only think it’s not working when our ego isn’t happy with the unheeded requests our conscious mind is making. Our subconscious mind meanwhile is doing all this shopping on amazon, while many of us are blissfully unaware of what we are attracting to ourselves! And then we moan when shit happens rama rama.
Ah now I get it at last – crack the eggs and make the ommelette. I’ve been starving unnecessarily for years! Anyone got a frying pan?
I am so grateful to have found you and your incredible website. But then I am reminded of the famous axiom, “When the student is ready, the teacher(s) will come along!”
Thanx and I’m looking forward to “Crack Your Egg” program very much. Too bad our schools and universities don’t have this type of ‘living life by design vs. default’ curriculum?
Rob
Thanks for another sensible, well-written article. You make some very valid points. So often we do avoid the mirror and point the finger, instead of using the situation as an opportunity for enlightenment and self-growth.
Extremely interesting article. Insightful comments. I really got it! This is my understanding of it now… “Life is the ultimate TEACHER. Life situations ‘test’ our grasp & application of the higher principles. As we ‘fail’, the lessons are REPEATED. The areas in which we are weakest, gets extra attention. Like any good teacher, LIFE will continue to put emphasis on the the lessons we DIDN’T GET. Does any one remember their parents trying to help them with their ‘Times Table’. Still remember my father helping me with mine (I now have children of my own). He didn’t spend much time on the ‘2Xs’ or the ‘5Xs’. Those were easy. ‘Got them pretty quickly. He kept coming back evening after evening to the ‘8Xs’, the ‘6Xs’, the ‘9Xs’. Occasionally, he’d mix in the questions about the ones I had gotten, just to make sure I was not forgetting those. But he kept revisiting the ones I was having difficulty with … until I got them. Then the lessons stopped. Unfortunately, in schools today, often times, class size, curriculum, teachers that don’t care enough, and other factors cause the class to move along, even though all the students didn’t ‘GET’ the lesson. I think though that life – sets all other factors aside – and continue to deliver the LESSON(S) we’re weak in, maybe till the very end, if we didn’t ‘GET’ it.”
I think I had an ‘Ah Hah’ moment. Two men, both family members of mine came to mind. One is always finding himself in situations where he is taken advantage of. I mean always. Different ways. Different times. Different places. Different people. New people. No matter how much he tries to dot the i’s and cross the t’s, someway, somehow, at the end of the deal, he loses – sometimes a lot. The thing is, he is a really nice person, but he rarely stands up for himself. The other is NEVER taken advantage of. If anyone tries to, he responds immediately and push back to stop or negate the attempt. His transactions and dealings, usually go fairly smoothly with results he’s usually happy with. He’s also a very nice person, but has no problem standing up for himself. So the life lesson – situations requiring him to stand up for himself – doesn’t even come up for him most of the time.
I’m sure we all have things in our lives that seem to keep happening to us. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wondered why a particular set of circumstances always seems to come my way. Now I know why. Now I finally understand why the many books and articles I’ve been reading keep telling me to go inside. I’ve often wondered what does ‘go inside’ or ‘the answer is within’ mean? And I have to tell you, I’ve been reading “law of attraction materials” for a few years before ‘The Secret’ was published. I did not start out to address financial or any other problems – although I had problems aplenty. I had always been fascinated with the mind and was just investigating how it work. Guess the TEACHER was directing me to ‘text books’. The concept that I was responsible for my life just rang true. Even if I couldn’t use the information to ‘attract’ squat, I believe wholeheartedly that if I am experiencing it, I must somehow be responsible for it. If the NEXT PERSON was responsible for it, then the NEXT PERSON would be experiencing it, not me.
To wrap up this rather lenghty post – to Henk aI say THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU, from the depths of my soul, THANK YOU. NOW, I WILL go inside. “I got some ‘Xs table to study”, some answers to correct. It is time for me to ‘pass’ some of these lessons so I can move on to other courses of study. Now the tears are flowing because I see now that life had to beat me upside the head for me to learn such a simple lesson. I hope that the analogy I’ve used here will help someone else to finally ‘GET’ it, like I did.
Thanks a Lot. I NEEDED this at this moment of my life.
And I know that I have attracted this information coz I expected for it.
Thanks again.
Most interesting, well written, explained clearly, if this doesn’t help people, it is surely because they do not want to be helped.
Hi,
I’ve been up all night, because I enjoy working on my computer late at night when its quiet. So I am a bit tired and ready for bed. But I felt I first had to respond to your article because it is so spot on the mark. Basically, attracting your highest good, is more about surrendering control and letting go of that compulsion, rather than ‘controling’ or ‘manipulating’ the universal laws (including the law of attraction) to suit your assumed desires. Naturally, you have to know who or what you trully are, rather than who you are supposed to be, in order to discern what your true goals are from your conditioned or learnt ones. We don’t make the law of attraction work according to our wills,. rather the law of attraction works through us. It works independently of whether we recognize it does or not. Surrendering and the need to control, and letting go of the pressure that is attached to it, opens us to our highest good coming to us, and this is how we attract our greatest good. To get to the place, where we experience everything in our lives as flowing with ease, simplicity and harmony, we need to gently peel of like an onion, the layers of false or non-fulfilling beliefs and attitudes that we have unquestioningly attached so much blind loyalty to.
These layers of belief will be reflected in our experiences via the law of attraction. so if we don’t enjoy what we are experiencing, then we need to examine the thoughts we hold that attracting the experience, release them or change them for more helpful ones. It is important to remember during the process, especially when the going gets tough, that we are not our beliefs; and so we have the choice to hold on to them or drop them. the more we identify with our beliefs, the tougher it is for us to seprate ourselves from them and change them. Why? because by identifying with them, letting go of them will feel like attacking ourselves. the law of attraction merely implies that the universe presents to us what we believe we are. Since we are the ones doing the believing, we are the only ones who have the power to let them go or change them. It takes energy to hold on to a belief, just as it frees up energy to let go of them. This has been my experience, and your discussion of sh*t and cognitive dissonance explains what is going on very concisely.
There is so much more I could say about this subject, but I must get to bed now. Thanks so much for the gift of your wonderful and honest work. May you continue to be richly and abundantly blessed.
Loving Regards
Rev. Dr. Bola Animashaun
Thank you for a great article. Everyone likes to be right and sometimes we will keep doing the wrong thing just to prove we are right. In changing a habit, one has to acknowledge they have been wrong. However, the willingness to change takes place once the benefits of that change is realized.
Almost everything in your article I have already or am now experiencing. Life is exciting when you let it be.
Thanks again for sharing.
I found your article to be extremely informative. It also re-in-forced many principals I’ve come to understand regarding fundamental natural laws of the universe. E.g, “What you put out is what you get back” -which equates to the law of attraction.
Now as I recall reading only a few articles ago you presented another challenging assertion that “Life is basically meaningless” that there is no built in meaning to anything. In other words it is neutral leaving you, the person having the experience, to determine the meaning you wish to get out of it.
I think this is the key point that many people fail to grasp in refusing to challenge some of their own assumptions; that no outcome is inherently negative or positive to begin with. It is “WE” who are placing the definition of the outcome in line with our own experiences. But again this was beautifully explained in your response.
Cognitive Dissonance simply gives us a tool to challenge our strongly held beliefs more critically and a way to maintain our own balance in the face of seemingly incontestable view points. Or dogma?!!!
Anyway this tool works for me I look forward to reading your “Cracking eggs”.
Gosh! as usual I thought it was me! I thought I was doing it wrong! Your article has made me cry. Thank You
Thanks henk, much appreciated.
Hello:Thank you very much for the 3 free ebooks.Well yours explanation are really simple and easy to understand.And you have put name to a feelling that i have been trying to drive.I. use to ask my self¿why this controversy?¿Why a justify things that i knowthat are wrong?The main justification is:The “Midle way” in spanish is “el justo medio” from the Buda Sakyamuny teachings.Some time its an evolutive tool and sometimes its a great stuck.Well thank you again and thank to the causality of recive your email, i have never subscrive or ask for your email.Thank to God.
Have a nice experienece.
Light,Love and Happiness.
THANX ,4 THE THOUGHTS 4 FOOD.
It is in my opinion the universe putting right in front of our face issues that need to be changed, things that have continued throughout our lives to hold us back from gaining the very things we seek in our lives. So rather than say this doesn’t work look at why it is not working and I am sure it will be because we are limiting ourselves and preventing it from becoming a reality. Sort of like the coyote when he takes on the role of the trickster we need to break the illusion we live in to face the reality and move on finding the way that does work …..sort of like the old saying CAN’T SEE THE FOREST FOR THE TREES!
I think the “shit” that I find myself in is just an opportunity to test my faith in God. It is truly to resist nothing. They nailed Jesus up on the cross and he never resisted and forgave them. I am, as I write, in a situation that requires total faith. I am, “BEING TESTED”. Remaining as equanimous as possible is surely the best thing to do. I know there is a bountiful blessing, and great learning and great faith that need be applied consciously, taking advantage of every sign post, as every interaction may contain one within, and even those intuitve signposts must be heeded…
Thank you so much for the article. It really is eyes opening. The thing is that we really create our own reality, for better or worse, just by using our thoughts, or more importantly, our feelings and emotions, so there’s no use in blaming others. Since we attract things into our lives, at least we need to own them (and maybe take responsibility for them). and yes, being in a cognitive dissonance is not very pleasant is not very pleasant but it might lead us to some actions (good or bad) in order to resolve it.
Thanks again
My best wishes to you
Shosh
This is great. I think we should do more of these ‘intellectual’ exercises… It will help me greatly as it may many others. Thank you.
Really impreesive and eye opening. I could relate easily as I am Smoker and this article will help in resolving my inner conflict and to quit smoking
Once again thanks for great article
kind regards
Suresh
Thank you for a very informative article. It puts a few things in perspective for me. Here is a quote from Albert Einstein on this same subject,”The significant problems we face will not be solved by the same level of thinking that created them”.
You have gone into great detail to explain this and I thank you.
People need to take “responsibility” for there thoughts because that is what controls there outcome. It is the “way” we think that determines our outcomes.
Thank you again,
Rebecca
thank you for your article: it describes my current state which I find so difficult to
transform.I see glimpses of openings form my prison of poverty ETC and know that
I can become and have my intended reality in a eye blink by allowing it to manifest.
Great explanation of the way we fool ourselves into believing we are “right” and others are “wrong”. Thanks for this reminder.
I enjoyed this piece very much. I suspect most of our “problems” as we view them deal with the use of force. Fighting against a particular “lesson” (perhaps that’s as good a way to describe life) only brings the rebound effect.
Many of us, me too, have sought a quick fix to some of life’s less than desireable situations. To make the decision to go another path for a different set of choices is tough because of our personal preconditioning. We tend to feel comfortable with what we know.
It seems that feeling passion is a key factor in manifestation…and then not obsessing.
Hi Henk,
thank you very much, it was exactly what I need to read. I am receiving a lot of information and what is interesting, it has an order!
Regards
Maria
Congrats on this amazing article! The description and examples for the phenomena of Cognitive Dissonance is mandatory read for anyone experiencing it, which means EVERYBODY.
All you said and described related to the “law of attraction” is quite clear on any saying by Abraham-Hicks and others. It`s so simply and well stated for anyone to understand instantly what it is and how it works(even when one thinks “I don`t believe this is true”…), that those that didn`t get it from the most simple and direct sources will, by default, not understand what you`re saying either. However, it can be a ring, a wake up! for those that slipped into cognitive dissonance reactive behavior and can get themselves out of it now, by being nudged and remainded, which you did brilliantly. Now, for those that dismiss the whole thing entirely “it doesn`t work”…we all know that many will soon jump, just as enthusiastically, to the next new self help “thing” that would get us out of our rut directly into bliss, preferably without any effort or comprehension.. And this is business as usual for mainstream and it takes care of itself, very well. I`d submit this article to any honest media that deals with the topic. Useful as it is(may start the cracking of some eggs) it is not enough for those not adept at DYU-do-it-yourself in this and other issues like changing a light bulb…So, time to get into the program I guess! Thanks. Bob M., Sao Paulo, Brazil.
This article really hit the spot for me and at the perfect time. Much appreciated. Keep up the good work!
Cognitive Dissonance! I wondered why I had both a positive and negative mind. I do have some ‘eggs to crack’.
Very thought provoking showing that personal responsibility is the starting point for any development. Many wish to buy a product, a book,CD or DVD which will “change their life”. They think that something outside of themselves will do the trick not understanding that it all happens and comes from within. Look for the love and beauty in the world to discover it is what you are. Show love and respect for others so they may see it in themselves.
Thank you for sharing.
Chris
Thanks for your comprehensive logic
best wishes
Hi
I 100 percent agree, I keep catching myself with blame because of the situation I find myself in. I know I allowed it to happen but have to remind myself to forgive others and realise that i am just as responsible for allowing the behaviour I accepted from others. I am still learning to look after me as i have spent my whole life putting others before me. I know that i am a perfect spiritual being, and need this to sink in to accept all the good life has to offer me.
I have to crack through lots of layers but i know I can get there and receive my good. I am ok they way I am right now.